Over the past several months, it had been easy justifying why I had been tired, a bit anti-social and melancholy. A hectic work schedule, feeling run down, and family obligations were my staple cop outs to give to myself or anyone else who questioned my actions. The truth was that my insecurities were creeping back into my daily life again, this time with a vengeance through changes in my personal and professional life.
I started a new job after an unpleasant exit from my former place of employment. I was immediately thrown into the busy season in a matter of weeks. Doubts about my career choices stemming from the previous employment mishap were still raw as I grappled with learning the ropes of a fast-paced workplace in a new industry. As much as my new colleagues were assuring me that I was a fantastic addition to the team, my perfectionist personality constantly critiqued my learning curve.
At the same time, online dating had become a disaster in my love life. Despite rewriting my profile, changing my greeting message, and editing my photos, my inbox remained empty. This was even more painful than in-person rejection because I was being dismissed by multiple guys. I knew they learned about my life and ultimately made the decision to ignore me. Repeat that process twice a week, and after two months I had been rejected by countless numbers of men. Even writing that sentence stung. How I’m Surviving in Survival Mode During a Severe Depression Relapse|Patrice Bendig